Surgery Update and Random Things.

Ok so the surgery went well.  I am two weeks post procedure.  I am healing up pretty well.  My incision is healing up really nicely.  I am still having pain but I hope it goes away once I am healed.

I hope it really does work.  I want to get off the pain medication. I have been on it so long that I will probably have to slowly back off of it.  I am on a pretty high dose right now, but it is needed for the pain I am having.  Luckily I have never abused the medication pre surgery things were getting so bad with the hardware that it didn’t even seem to work.

It is hared to explain, the pain feels different now.  The hardware pain was pressure and some pain.  This is just a sore feeling.  I hope once my body knits everything back together that I can use over the counter stuff to manage this.  My worst fear is that I end up with some chronic pain condition.  Sitting right now is challenging.  Unless I am in a really supportive chair I am very uncomfortable.   I hope as time passes that gets better.

The one place I am in the least amount of pain is my Mom’s recliner.  Today is especially  bad because it is VERY bitter cold.  Even with the medication I am in pain.  I am not allowed to do heat until I am healed.  It would bring blood to the area and cause swelling.  I can do ice, but the last time I did it I had massive muscle spasms.  I may break down and do it.

Money is ridiculous now.   I am broke as can be.  I have to ask Mom to help me with some stuff.  I hate that.

Can’t really say much else but I think things will be better in about a month.  Certain things are coming to a close which should help immensely.  Prayers welcomed at this time.

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Life is So Cruel

My GF’s father died.  He was having some very serious lung problems and had been in and out of the hospital with several collapsed lung episodes.  He contracted Pneumonia after a very risky lung surgery and passed away. He had several health issues that complicated his treatment.  

The worst thing is that I couldn’t be there to support her.  That hurts me to the core.  I am having my surgery on Thursday morning and I couldn’t travel and withdraw from my psych meds etc.  It would have been impossible.  She knows why and understands.  It just is the worst possible timing for it to happen .  But FUCK when is anyone dying convenient right?  

I tried to roll back off my psych meds earlier this week and it went horribly.  I tried taking lots of ambien to sleep.  It just made me feel 120 billion times worse.  My psych told me when and how to do it this time.  So I was a huge drama queen earlier this week.  I did apologize to my GF for being so off the wall.  Sleep deprivation and me do not mix worth a shit.  Then try taking way too much sleeping pills and I was totally fucked up.  Ambien and I usually have comic results like me taking selfies on my GF’s phone.  This time I was an asshole.  

I had to stop my mood stabilizer because combined with Anesthesia my heart could stop.  I did what my doctor instructed.

Prayers needed for my GF.  I probably could use a few too. 

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My GF is really awesome.  I really feel like she understands me.  She gets my sensitive feelings.   She also loves to learn and read. She loves God in her way.  I like that she is spiritual and that she likes to read about spiritual things.  I like that she is well informed about current events.  I like that she LOVES Dr. Who.  She would totally be into watching the HP movies in a row over a weekend.   That means a lot.  We also would go big and  Lord of the Rings, or the Hobbit!

She encourages me.   She supports me and wants me to be happy.   She commiserates with me when my PAIN is too much to handle. She is an excellent snuggle buddy.She is my best friend. We talk a lot.  I like talking with her.  She challenges me mentally.  I really do love her.  More than I knew was a possibility.  I know where she starts and stops.  I know where I begin.  We are connected in a healthy way.  

I feel like with her backing me up that I can be a better person.  I can reach higher levels of happiness because she is a part of my life.  

I can’t wait to start our future.  It is getting closer every single day!  (((if you are reading this awesome GF- Smooch/Smoosh)))

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I have been posting and treating facebook like a blog.  I need to reel it in a bit and stick to funny pictures.  It is hard to not post stupid personal crap on facebook.  My ex BFF got me into that mode.  I have gotten too comfortable for over-sharing.  I am pretty sure if I looked hard enough I could find a wordpress app.  I’d say since I broke up with my EX the over-share mode has been happening.  I know today I post a bunch of mundane crap that no one cares about.  Except my aunt and my mom.  They comment the most which is kind of lame and sad.  LOL. 

So I am a through the first month of my new job.  I like it.  We have been really slow at times which is strange.  I was used to the constant crush of pissed off people.  Now I am in the VIP/Platinum department and the people get pissed, but not in the same way. We have power to make their situation non-shitty.

So I have some good news.  My GF is coming up here for Christmas.  The behind the scenes crap that led up to it sucked.  But I am so excited that she is going to be with me for Christmas and my birthday.  No I am not telling the behind the scenes crap, so unless you are my family or in need to know basis…non-ya-biznizz.

I also finally will have my second surgery on my back.  They are going in to take the hardware out.  I am nearly 9 months out post surgery and still having pain.  I also have developed a shitty case of bursitis in my hip.  I have an appointment on Monday and I hope they give me a big shot in my hip to kill that.   That is scheduled for January 16th (the surgery)

I have a few calls to make on Monday.  HR type calls.  I know they will give me short term disability for the surgery.  I am like 352 hours short of 1250 hours needed for FMLA.  I know last time they held my job, I just don’t want to assume the same thing will happen.  Who knows what the mood or policy will be.  I will only be out 6 weeks this time.  So I think unless there is some effing horrible catastrophic failure in my surgery I should be back pretty much on time.  This is small potatoes compared the ALIF.  This time they do a smaller incision on my back and remove the screws and the plate.  The stuff that is way deep inside of me aren’t the pain generators.  

My GF family has had some medical issues so if you could pray in that general direction (south) I’d appreciate it.  2nd post coming behind this one.

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Graduation Week

So i am about to graduate from training.  I am really excited about my new role.  I actually have gotten on the day shift rhythm pretty well.  The first week or so was rough, but now I am in that mode.  My regular schedule will be Tue, Wed, Fri, Sat 10a-9p.  I was psyched that I got that shift.   It may be a bit hard with my GF who is transitioning to a very early sleeping schedule for her faith.   Luckily I get an hour lunch so we can totally chat and talk during that time.

The four days that I work will be tough. It will be a work/sleep/work/sleep kind of routine.  The three days off will be so great.  I can schedule all sorts of doctors appointment etc, plus I have Sundays off.  I love that I have Sunday and Monday off still.  Then throw a Thursday in the middle. 

I might pick up some OT on Thursday night.  Since I bumped into the next tax bracket my check was kind of sad.  Not awful, but I need to put in the OT.  I will do like 8 hours a pay cycle.  My last check had OT on it and it was nice.  I will be fine.

I can’t wait the 5 days to see my GF.  It will be great.  My only crazy thing will be figuring out when to do my laundry.  LOL.  I may throw it in Thursday night just to get a leg up.  

I am very happy right now, which is great. 

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Training is going really well.

I am enjoying training so far.  I think my class hates me because I am smart.    We took some calls on Friday.  The even let us leave 45 minutes early, which was amazing.  Our big boss made that call.

On Monday we are taking calls again.   My team mate who I was paired with is going to take the calls this time.  We will alternate between our breaks.   She was scared.  I will help her if she needs it.

My 1st settlement is coming in.   It wasn’t epic but it will help me dig out of some of the debt I am in.  I may do something fun for myself, I am not sure yet.   I am going to fly up my super sexy GF for a visit.  I can’t wait to smooch her.  We are going to get a hotel and just be bums together.   We are going to hit the huge used bookstore.  I may end up shipping everything to her if she buys it.  So I guess that will be my fun thing.

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Very Happy

I really am excited about my new job and the skills I will learn.  I am competitive, so I will strive to be the best agent possible.   I already was one of the best, but I want to really do well.  

I am having some physical set backs but I am not going to let them get me down.   My head was pounding this morning.  I took allergy meds and the headache went away.  My back was being especially a jerk too.  So I have been pushing the pain meds more than usual.

I posted it on facebook but I scored some cool stuff at K-mart today.  I only spent 60 bucks but got some cool stuff.    I got a new outfit for work.  I can’t quite explain the polo its got a cool design on it.  Kind of jagged lines…plus it is purple.  Purple is big this year, which I love.  I stock up on purple things when I can.  I got my favorite khaki pants from k-mart too.  They fit, they are cheap, and they hold up well.   My old navy pants are nice but the k-mart ones are half as much.   What pissed me off about my last pair of old navy pants is that the zipper broke.   The pants were barely six months old.  Sure I could have paid the cleaner to put in a new zipper, but buying the pants at k-mart was cheaper.

I got two jackets.  I am perpetually cold when I am at work.   I got a black one with white stripes.  It is an XL but it fits.  Usually I buy things huge but that can make you look fatter than you really are.  The one that I am crazy about is purple.  It is plaid.  I wont be able to wear it everyday, but I was like WANT.  That is why I got the black one.  This sounds really crazy but the purple one has headphones built into it.  You can’t put it in the dryer, you have to line dry it.  Probably because the wires would melt.  So i got two jackets.  The black one and the purple explosion one.  I tested out the headphones in the jacket and they really do work.  The headphones come out of the stings of the jacket.  I’d have to post a pic.

I know the purple wont match with some of my work clothes so that is why i have the black one.   My poor sad Old Navy lightweight jacket is falling apart.  If it stays cold I wont wear it again until summer.  It has a bleach spot on it too.  I love the damned thing so I wont get rid of it.

I got a cool purple t-shirt too.  It is more like something a young guy would wear but I liked the color and the design on it.  Best part…it was four bucks.   I got a funny shirt that you’d have to see to appreciate it.  I can’t even try to describe it.  It is kind of a visual gag.  It sucks that they made the dress code so strict at work.  I can’t wear my funny t-shirts any more.  I have a ton of t-shirts.  That is my guilty clothing purchase.  I need to go through my clothes and make up a goodwill bag.

Yes this is a rambling post. LOL.

My mom got me my favorite beer.  i wont go crazy but we agreed we would have one together on Saturday.  My sister is going to be in town too.  SCORE!

I have been working really hard on my sleep hygiene.   I actually got up this morning at 730.  That might not impress you, but it was a struggle for me.  If it wasn’t for coffee I would have died.  Ok dramatic but that was how out of it I felt.   Tomorrow I am getting up at 630.  That will hurt.



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